| i feel like i'm constantly wandering...looking for something...
where is it?..
...what is it?
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| I went to Venice Beach yesterday with mar & rem. There were black lab puppies for sale there, it made me remember you and how you'd always wanted one, and all the time we'd spent trying to find you the perfect one. Sometimes I still wonder whether I believed the wrong person, but regardless, what's done is done. And even though you put me through more pain than anyone ever could, I also spent some of my happiest times with you. I know I make it seem as though I hate you, and part of me does I think, but mostly it's out of bitterness and a broken heart. Although I can never forgive you for all the things you did to me and everything that you put me through, I also can never forget you and our memories.
I don't regret anything or how things turned out. At this point, I'm just ready to be happy again and I'm trying to do that on my own. I must say though, it's not as easy as I remember it being. Sometimes I just miss having that one stable person in my life that I can lean on whenever I feel like I'm falling. Who will hold me when I run into his arms, even if he thinks we're just cuddling and has no idea how I'm really feeling or any idea that I'm actually crying into his shoulder. I don't always need someone to talk to, sometimes I just miss having someone there to make me feel safe, and that everything will be okay.
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| sigh i cant find anything w/ this layout...pretty much all i can do now is write new entries...owell suckers for me.
i have so many pictures i could put in here..cept i dunno how to connect my camera to my new comp yett and the old computer is dead/dying. everytime i use it i just wanna kick it in and just put it out of its misery. harr. i shall figure out the picture stuff one day and put up lots and lots of pictures to my hearts content. *grins* |
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Don't take me for granted. cus i'll walk out when i cant stand anymore.
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| Hmm. I went out to eat lunch with my mom today and the kids sitting at the table next to ours were playing with tamagachis. They were THE THING when I was in elementary school, I’m surprised they still exist. Haha wow. I haven’t seen them for years. Too bad I lost mine in 5th grade…haha..i was SOO DEVASTATED when I lost my dear PET. Aw..i kinda want one..just for old time sake :] it would be small enough for me to put in my memory BOX too!
Yes I have a memory box.
Not cus I have a bad memory or anything..well I mean I do but I don’t have it because of that. Its just nice to have a box full of stuff that reminds me of happy things. Mostly I look through it when I’m having a bad day. Its full of notes, letters, pictures, small things. So if I know you...there’s probably something in there that reminds me of YOU. If you don’t have one I suggest you start one, it’s a nice thing to have around… kinda like a diary. But BETTER.
I was supposed to go Christmas/late bday shopping today…my parents wouldn’t let me..they were like “no! you can do it over winter break.”…gah! I am so shopping deprived. Well more like EVERYTHING-deprived. How unfortunate.
oh yes and where is a good place to upload pics so i can put some in this thing? |
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